I read somewhere that those who talk about their dreams are narcissistic and boring. Because of that, I have been racking my brain to find a way to talk about my dreams so that my audience doesn’t notice that I really AM narcissistic and boring.

Jung and Freud got away with it. They did it by throwing some sex in every once in a while, much like you throw a hot dog on a grill.

So as soon as this conversation turns boring, look for a bit of sex to show up.

I actually do pay a lot of attention to my dreams and my sub-conscious as many of you know…. And I’m fairly certain I will also explore my unconscious some day.

Paying attention to one’s dreams may be similar to what Woody Allen said about being bi-sexual ….it gives you twice the chance to get a date on Saturday night.

If I can remember my dreams I not only worry about everyday life, I can worry about my dream life as well.

You will find the same phenomenon is present when people believe in past lives. Those with nothing to do in this life can always go back to being Cleopatra or something. A psychiatrist friend of mine once told me about his experience at a cocktail party. A strange woman came up to him and said, “You killed me in one of my past lives.” I am not certain how the psychiatrist responded to her but he no longer goes to cocktail parties.

Clearly the woman was in need of a hobby.

Analysts call this the “Needmore Phenomenon.”

It occurs when a patient needs more stuff to think and worry about. I have been plagued with needmoreism since childhood ...... dreams just happen to be the focus of my attention.

And there may well be a lot to worry about with my dreams. I do seem to have a high ratio of apocalyptic dreams per anum. I don’t especially crave an end to this world …….. it just seems like a good thing to dream about.

The Empire State Building (a well known phallic symbol) was prominent in one dream several nights ago and I was busy going to the top of it. While I was there I also managed to do away with a relative and 2 really good friends. I don’t remember throwing them off the building but when I saw them they looked kind of flat and lifeless.

This dream may be indicative of early onset Arachibutyryphobia.

Symbols in dreams are an obsession with most people. They always ask the question “what does this mean?" I personally don’t care what a dream is symbolic of as long as there is plenty of action and the characters are well developed.

And as I was saying earlier the most important character in my dreams is ME.

This seems like the ideal time to mention Sex. Sex is often a very good excuse for dreaming as Freud pointed out.

I wont go into my other dreams at the moment other than to mention some key phrases that will help me remember them:

Sawmill at the end of a road

Alligator paraphernalia

Woman with fruit on her head

Woman without fruit on her head

Rampant worldwide insanity

Albert Einstein covered in chocolate sauce

The word “Spiffy”

From time to time I do plan to write more seriously about dreams. Dreams and art are often linked in the imagination. I’ve found that dreams have given me a good rationalization for the sculptures I make. People have a hard time arguing with it.

Jung’s idea of the “collective unconscious” is a God Send. It gives a complete justification for all that I do. Also when I really don’t know what a sculpture is about I can always use the word “Dream” in the title and people will take it a lot more seriously.

I’d write a bit more about dreams if I could but now its late, I’m tired and I have to go to sleep.